It is no secret, for those who know anything about me, that friendship has always been one of those topics that makes my head hurt and body get fidgety. It is funny to me really - I'm always curious why something that seems so natural and is the theme of most every movie ever made, is something that stresses me out to no end. I get particularly intrigued with the topic when I watch it play out with my children. No matter where we go, my little girl Lacie is always excited and jumps into any scenario ready to meet her friend. We can walk into a completely new playground on the other side of town and she will immediately begin to locate and find her friend...generally the first little boy or girl to cross her path. To her, they are her instant friend. I am forever amazed by that! Even my oldest, who has always been a little more cautious, brought a neighbor home the other day (after just having his first conversation with him) and introduced him to me as his 'friend'. Amazing to me. No big interigation process, no feeling each other out, no expectations, no selfish desires - just instant, genuine friendship.

This is a topic of particular interest as in the course of the last few weeks I have had to say good-bye to a friendship that I have had for sometime. It is one of those partings that, truth be told, just makes you want to throw up and/or punch a wall at the thought of the whole situation while at the same time having a good old fashioned cry (okay, so maybe not a typical reaction...not sure). It is the classic 'girlie' scenario, I guess, huge expectations and desires tossed together with a lifetime of experiences and insecurities. Frustrating to me, cause I'm fairly certain I once attacked friendships with the same excitement that my little Lacie does today. Somewhere along the way I have learned how to overcomplicate things (I'm actually quite good at that really). I come into friendships questioning them from the beginning...why do you want to be my friend? What's in this for you? Or just wanting to cut through all of that red tape...the getting to know you stage...have you ever just met someone and thought I would love to just sit down and have 'coffee' with you and talk for hours? But it's a process, it takes time. :P  Seriously, I've come to really appreciate the process...though it can be hard and can be long...it can also be sweet. Even when they fall apart and have their yucky moments like I've experienced this week - if you allow yourself - even those moments in friendshp are important.

If you love Christ and follow after Him, hard moments in friendships can be easy opportunities for Satan to fill your head with a bunch of crap. And because it's tied to a friend - it's so much easier to believe the crap. So wanting to flush all that mess that had been building in my head - I decided to research what scripture says about friendship...glory be...I could spend weeks on the subject with all I found. The passage that really stuck out to me though I found in Ephesians 4:29,31-32 - 'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen...Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.' 

As I have been challenged this week - if you are feeling challenged with a friendship (and wanting desperately to point all blame on the other person) - ask yourself these questions...
* How do I talk about this friend? To this friend? - is it unwholesome? do I embellish? do I lie? do I talk badly about them or to them? What is coming out of my own mouth?
* Do I build them up? Do I take the time to know what their heart need is so that I can encourage them toward that? Do I pray for them? Do I pray with them? Do I speak well of them (whether times between us are good or bad?)
* Am I bitter about something between us? About something that's happened or something they've said? Am I holding onto that? Why?
* Am I (deep down where I don't want to admit it) angry at them?
* Am I kind? Not just when it's asked for, not just when others might notice...?
* Am I compassionate? Even when I don't understand? Do I ask for the Lord's help to be compassionate?
* Do I forgive? When they don't 'deserve' it? When they haven't asked for it? When the relationship is over and it really doesn't matter anymore? Have I forgiven the little things? Have I forgiven the big things they are clueless that they've done?
* How do I treat the Lord? Am I as selfish toward Him as I feel 'such-in-such' has been to me?  Do I live like I remember all He has done for me - including how He forgives me daily for all of my ridiculous crap?

So many things to think about...to work on...thankful to have that opportunity. Thankful for the challenge. Thankful for the example He has allowed me to see in my little ones. Thankful for His friendship!

Years ago...in reality about 3 years ago, Chris and I attempted to have a blog that we would update fairly often. His updates would surround all things 'technology' and mine would mostly center on whatever random thing that came to mind. Needless to say, with three little ones and full schedules...that little endeavor fell to the side. Yes, we are your typical bloggers. That 3 year glitch aside...I have missed being able to write. I know for some to write is a form of horrible torture, but for me it is such a release; something that allows my brain to process. So here I am, stepping out into the blogging world again. Fingers crossed here we go...